#30/30 - 2018

#30/30 - 2018

monday morning planning
deep breaths and color coding
laying out the week
deep breaths and activity stickers
orange for work
purple for practice
a party hat for the day of my birth

at almost-27, I feel
the most organized I've ever felt
which is still not very,
but at least i have a place
to put down words
for posterity

#29/30 - 2018

#29/30 - 2018

road trips
on the way back home
are slightly less fun, especially
after the thirteenth hour.
the fifth cycle through the playlist,
the eighth cup of iced coffee.

mind rushes ahead of the tires
then slowly drudges back to
the present
the eternal, puerile question
Are We There Yet?

#28/30 - 2018

#28/30 - 2018

two games one day
push my body a little bit
farther
stretch my stamina a little bit
longer
one skate in front of the other

one win, one loss,
but the loss feels like a win when
they had to fight to take back every point
two-minute heroes,
all of us

#27/30 - 2018

#27/30 - 2018

Maybe trying to play 60 minutes

of my very best roller derby after only sleeping

4.75 hours in a borrowed bed

is not going to be as easy as anticipated. 

My mental fortitude,  though,

was noteworthy--

tired but not spiraling 

trying to remember to breathe 

And not black out  for a particularly wind knocking hit

#26/30 - 2018

#26/30 - 2018

On the open road down to South Carolina
First tournament of the year
The car eats up the miles
as we guzzle down the coffee
And point out the Nature all around.
Conversation  flows like the rivers we pass,
fording front/back seat deafness divide
bubbling up over topics like pasta shape hierarchy
and the proper pronunciation of adipocytes

#25/30 - 2018

#25/30 - 2018

statistically speaking
eventually
you should hit on a good one

Another day
Another bidding war
For a house we did not win
A seller we did not convince
And it is getting quite

Draining.

#24/30 - 2018

#24/30 - 2018

nothing's worse than
waking up too late
You'd  checked and checked
the alarms but technology
has failed you
 And now there is no time for
morning group strength

I guess I should be resting
recovery is important too
But picking up heavy things is just so cathartic

#23/30 - 2018

#23/30 - 2018

it's funny how your body adapts
to normalcy
skating on mondays
used to be my norm
but now my legs are confused,
heavy.
normally we run on this day
not roller skate
and the engine is hiccuping
trying to catch a gear

#22/30 - 2018

#22/30 - 2018

representation
why do these words and images
resonate
why do they
matter

because it is healthy to see
yourself
it is good to connect with
a larger-than-life you
to see evidence that
People Like You
are Here

thank you Sam
for photoshopping yourself onto Gabrielle's body
like so many of us have done before
in the comfort of our own rooms
not int the comfort of a silver screen bedroom
that
is a big fucking deal

#21/30 - 2018

#21/30 - 2018

today is a day
for cleaning out
"you haven't lived here for seven years,"
she says
"why is there still so much STUFF"

so i go through
organize journals from 2003 to 2010
read (and burn) letters written by
a fourteen-year-old with inconsequential wisdom
--she was not wise.
eloquent, yes, but the words did not matter

pictures from my childhood
hard copies
of hard bangs, backwards caps, pale blue dresses
i really am a spectrum

#20/30 - 2018

#20/30 - 2018

poems come out of
wonder
not out of
knowing
a lesson I relearn
every April
a scene sticks in my brain
a thought
a fragment
rarely planned
rarely outlined
just, formed.

#19/30 - 2018

#19/30 - 2018

not all days
are bookended by busrides
anymore
usually I get picked up
in a car after work
my person playing solitaire
until I emerge

today was bookended though
thursdays generally are
and it gives me a little extra space
to read

#18/30 - 2018

#18/30 - 2018

late to practice
stuck in the flow of writing
voice-to-text editing
in the car
on the way
after publishing
because it just wasn't finished yet
but
is it ever

#17/30 - 2018

#17/30 - 2018

it is January 107th,
not mid-April.
road closed due to accidents
alerted after I left the houseasizing
too late to arrive on time
missed the gym and i am grumpy
fantasizing about lunchtime
with no endorphins
just rage at the white white winter

#16/30 - 2018

#16/30 - 2018

the best way to get ahead
is to start
the best way to start
is to close your eyes
shut everything out
pretend
that anxiety is not an issue

#15/30 - 2018

#15/30 - 2018

sundays
when the weather is confused
and everything is canceled
sundays are for lounging
put the laundry in, yes,
but don't fold it until tomorrow.
make a grocery list, of course,
but tuck it into next day's agenda.
tonight is for
takeout and tangles and warm, close, breath.

#14/30 - 2018

#14/30 - 2018

Who knew
it would be this hard
to find plain brown suspenders
two hours
and only one single section
of one single store
had any selection
of note

#13/30 - 2018

#13/30 - 2018

helped a customer on the phone today
felt knowledgeable and
useful
like my anxiety was on lunch break

#12/30 - 2018

#12/30 - 2018


How to Build A Successful Brand
you need a story
a personality
it's Not Just About Sales Anymore

you need vision, foresight
what does your Brand want to BE

#11/30 - 2018

#11/30 - 2018

found
bent and forgotten piece of
label maker tape
in a cracked corner of the concrete floor.
It reads:
DIS / LOCATION

I don't know what possesses me
to pick it up
keep it in my pocket
as if ignoring the fact that the universe
gave me a broken sign